And Life Doesn’t Move On

 All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

 

Death amazes me. It is technically so simple. The end of life.  But a life is a mystery. An existence like none another. That ‘life’ might have known things that nobody else on Earth did. That life might have changed the world someday. Nobody would know though. Cause the ‘life’ no longer exists.  So complex when you think of it that way. But that’s something science will discover I suppose. Blah, I can go on and on. But hei, do you remember the story  I once told you? About Nazriya chechi?
The moment people heard about the unfortunate incident they started queuing up in front of the house to get a glimpse.  It was shocking how people actually wanted to ‘see’ the dead. To see the non-existent. There was the initial panic. People were all talking about it. Then the sadness gradually creeped in.  The burial. And that was that. The end. A life had been effectively removed from the earth.  Nobody thinks of her now. Her son lives with his step mother too young to understand what had happened.  Another life had come, gone and made no significant difference to the Earth.

Come to think of it, wasn’t it yesterday that you told me about the admission for MBA? You did seem pretty happy then. Or was it the day before? Damn all those social networking sites. Working on it has given me a memory loss. But it was yesterday right? Oh yeah, it was the day before. You had dropped mom at home after going to the temple. You usually go on Wednesdays right?

So you lost in a subject.  I suppose it must’ve been tough. That’s what these self financing colleges do mate! They buy an advance from you and make you sign a piece of paper saying that you won’t get it back if you don’t join. So? Just go crack the supplementary exam and get it done with! Or we can still screw these colleges. We could’ve convinced some hot shot lawyer to get your money back. 

Remember me telling you about my miserable semester 6 results? The one that ruined my CAT plans. It was very tough to handle initially. There I was “arrear-less” and getting ready to face my first interview. I distinctly remember that day. Onam celebrations were going on in my college. We had gone to the hostel to take some rest when somebody rushed in and told us about the results. Ajmal’s face when he saw my results. Those moments are still etched in my memory like it was yesterday. I had dragged the laptop from the bed. And from the opposite I heard 5 gunshots. Probably from the gun the ‘vettakaran’ uses in Pulikali. But exactly 5. Not 4, not 6, not 10. Exactly 5. And yeah, I had failed for 5 exams out of the 6 I had written.
You believe in God mate? Of course you do. Well He is Bollywood at heart. Likes a few twists and turns in between. But ultimately it’s always a fairy tale. All you have to do is play along and do your bit properly.

Jacob was right when he said every shit has a golden lining. Back then I had wanted to quit college and just get lost. Add to that the break up problems. Life was pretty much a big mess.  But sometimes you need such incidents to wake you up. Like the break up. I lost one person from my life and re discovered a 100 who have always been there. I was simply being blind. Mom for example.
So what if I had joined a company after being placed? I wouldn’t have been able to be there with mom when she fell sick. Remember mate, life is pretty darn easy if you’d let things be simple.

During my internship I met some extremely talented folks. People who’d make you and I feel worthless. Artists. Designers. Writers. All working for Rs 5000/- a month. Yes that low. That’s the world man.  And I came from a college where a job offer of 3.5L an year would be considered trash. There is more to life than what we know.

While at hospital I talked to this lady who used to clean our room. What was her name? Hmm yeah Jaya. She was telling me about her 3 kids. You know what her payment is? 3000. Husband passed away an year back. 3000 divided by 4. Do your math. You haven’t heard the strange part yet. She moved from some another hospital to this place last month due to the “far far superior” payment (as she put it ). And I can go on and on about stories Rajiv. About Mr. Chinnaswamy at Nooradi in Nelliampathy who between his heavy coughs managed to tell his story. His days at Tamil Nadu. Why he had to leave his family and come to Nelliampathy. Stories like these changes your perspective. This is a big world. And every living thing on this planet has his/her story.

And look at you. You choose to lie there facing the ceiling instead. You don’t want to know these stories, do you? Look at your mom. Look at her eyes. That’s life Rajiv. That’s worth living for. But you wanted to be different.

You were always the brave one. And yet these people coming in are calling you the ‘coward’.  A coward for ending your dreams and another hundred’s surrounding you, on a piece of rope. You my friend, I had great hope in you. I thought you’ll teach me how significant life really is. Yet you chose to disappear. Be like everyone else – dust.  You were optimism personified and now it is dead.

Go away. You think everything will be all right now? Do you even think those people at the MBA institute will return the advance you paid? So what was the point? Are these people right? Were you a coward? Or was there something else? Something none of us know about? But why? 

“Son….Son, I’m afraid you’ll have to move.”

“Oh I’m sorry. It’s time to leave?”

“Please don’t take him. Please don’t. He is not dead. He can’t be dead”, cried his mom as they shifted the body to the ambulance. 

The ambulance left. And so did everyone else…

But Rajiv, tell me something? What is it like? To be free?

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God Matter

Part of a conversation that happened in a social networking site.


M: I have a totally different take on this 'atheist' issue. I don't they are non-believers. They 'believe' there is no God. Which is even greater than the 'belief in God'. For they somehow think there are solutions to the infinitely many unanswered questions. You see, its simply a matter of perspective. I chose to believe in God because I found it easier and more satisfying. You can do whatever you want. But pls :
#StopSharingAtheistCreativesTo

ShowThatYouAreCool #LordDoesn'tNeedFB.SayYourPrayersDirectly

 

R:what if they 'dont' believe there is god..?..is that a greater or lesser belief..or not a belief at all?

 

M:We are moulded that way. We have to believe in something or the other. When you say you 'don't' believe in God you are simply believing there is no God. Your actions henceforth are results of your belief.

 

K: Let me clear your misunderstanding sir! :)
Atheist don't 'believe' that their is no god. Atheism is simply absence of belief. logically, if p= belief, then being a CS student we know that ~p≠p
Atheist reject the hypothesis of god simply because there is not any logical proof of god. just like there is not any proof of tooth-fairy or santa claus. Extra-ordinary claim need extra-ordinary evidence. Claim of existence of god is very big claim and this claim need appropriate evidence.
Atheist don't think that there are solutions to the infinitely many unanswered questions, but they use scientific methodology to find the answer rather than praying to hypothetical god. And you can see the difference. A lot of question have been answered and many question are still in sandbox of science.
Existence of electron is not a matter of perspective and so does existence of anything is not matter of perspective.
No one choose to believe in god. They are made to believe in god because since a child born in a theist family, he is mind-washed.
There is no christian/hindu/muslim child by birth. He is made christian/hindu/muslim by his parents and society.
*sorry hashtag dont work on facebook, it belong to twitter*
[Please dont take my arguments otherwise, I enjoy debate on this topic] :)

M:‎"Atheist reject the hypothesis of god simply because there is not any logical proof of god. just like there is not any proof of tooth-fairy or santa claus.
Extra-ordinary claim need extra-ordinary evidence. Claim of existence of god is very big claim and this claim need appropriate evidence.
^I've read this part somewhere. I am in no way saying atheists are wrong at what they do. I simply believe that atheism requires much more a stronger mind than I ever will have. I just believe that this whole preaching about atheism is wrong. You condemn the religions for preaching about God. but atheists preach about the absence of God. Aint that all the same? I can understand if you asks the religions to shut up. That is fine with me. Let people decide. Instead the objective of every atheist is to prove the absence of God. Which I totally have problems with.
PS: I know hastags don't work in FB. Sometimes you do that to make people notice pal. Unfortunately you haven't. I've also expressed my dislike towards people sharing the 'God' stuff in FB as well.

 

K: Yup! you must have read somewhere, just like different text book state laws of motion in similar word. So words are irrelevant, please take the fact.
I don't think atheism require stronger mind, atheism simply require free mind, free from their other's belief.
Atheism don't preach. Atheism is not a religion that it'll preach. Atheism don't have set of rules. only thing common is atheist is the analytic thinking and scientific methodology.
Atheist simply condemn illogical stuffs, unproven facts, and religious stuffs is one of illogical stuffs.
In Logic study, Negation can't proved , atheist don't try to prove negation of god. but if someone assert existence of something, it must b proved so they simply demand the proof of existence of god.
Yes atheist do make joke on false belief and deliberately provoke deluded persons, and it's fun! :)

 

M: Lets highlight that 'belief' factor again. My girl friend ditched me for someone else and I am so angry that I want to kill her. I don't because I BELIEVE that its wrong. And somehow I feel God is out there watching me. So what do a non believer do at this instance? You kill her? You are angry and you have every reason to be pissed. If you kill her its because you dont believe in right or wrong. She hurt you and you wanna kill her. Simple. No complications right.
What if you don't kill her? That means you believe in right or wrong? that means u are a believer. Ok. what if you wanted to do something else? U either do it or du don't. Both because u have strong beliefs to back your action. There is no such thing as a non believer my friend. Its simply a matter of perspective.

 

S:Being an aetheist doesnt mean losing your morals!s lets say, u are an atheist, u still won't kill ur gf because u r aware of it's consequences.u know that u will be arrested and jailed in case u do that,it will ruin ur career,and social status it will affect ur whole future.so u decide nt to go for it...

i'm someone who finds atheism much more easier to adapt to, but am not an atheist-i force myself to believe that god exist..n why do i do that?because the former idea makes me feel insecure, just like u said i too find blvin in god more satisfying.

 

SN:  @M,there is no absolute "non-believer" - Atheism is lack of belief in theism, which means God and established religions. Trying to equate morals and religion is downright ridiculous! More people have been killed in the name of religion than anything else in the world - didn't they have this big eye in the sky looking down on them while they killed and plundered? As the Nobel laureate Steven Weinberg famously said, "Good people keep doing good things. Evil people keep doing evil things. But only religion can make good people do evil things"

 

S: @SN  that is the keypoint-atheism is lack of belief in theism.well said!

 

M: Don't get me wrong people. I don't support what the religions do. Never has and never will. I am only saying that this whole concept of tagging atheists as 'non believers' is a little farfetched. Deep down, many of my actions are consequences of my belief. My belief that somebody is out there watching me.
Similarly we all need some beliefs to guide us.

I am not saying believing in God is the only way to sane or have 'high' morals. Everyone has the right to choose what they want. But everyone does need some belief to be a good person. And for simple human beings like me believing in Gos is the easiest option. If you can still be good after knowing that there are no consequences for your action, that is impressive. But a lot of us won't be able to do that.
If I know that the teacher won't look at me during a DSP examination, i'll definitely copy. Mighty are the ones who still won't copy. And that requires a much stronger belief.
PS: I know the example is quite lame. But I do hope you get the point I'm trying to make.
PPS: I was tired of people sharing either "Godmatter" or "atheism" creatives in FB. Hence the status.

  

N: I am so pleased that young engineers are debating one of the most debated philosophical questions of all time. If anybody needs to read more, here is a good place to start. 

K: your are assuming that
1. "everyone does need some belief to be a good person".
2."believing in Gos is the easiest option"
3."Mighty are the ones who still won't copy. And that requires a much stronger belief."

--------
Let us start from the meaning of "belief"
be·lief /biˈlēf/
Noun:
1.An acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.
2.Something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction.
(via: http://goo.gl/PXPjn )
So what is special in belief that someone need it to be a good person?
Earth is flat is a belief and Earth is round is a proved fact.
So what is good in believing earth is flat?
Earth is flat was accepts as true or real; It was a firmly held opinion or conviction in christian history.
So please tell me how this belief make man a better person?.
Some other example of belief are: existence of tooth-fairy/santa clause for children and existence of god for mentally deluded adults.
----------
1."believing in Gos is the easiest option"
yes I agree. Being illiterate is the easiest option too, you don't to put any effort. To have a better carrier you have to put your effort. You have to study science, history etc in your primary school And then you will know that tooth-fairy was a lie. There was no adam-eve is nowhere mentioned in history book.
-----------
3. Refer Answer of first section
-----------
:::Appendix:::
Let us talk about ethics/morality and religion.
If belief in god make someone better person then why so war and crime even if 99% of human population have belief in god. 99% of human people are theist.
Go to a jail and find the percentage of atheist and theist criminal. See the record of homicides and crime in world and see who are behind it. Certainly theist will be behind all thing in 99.99%. Why so??
It's very common but false assumption that religion and theism are necessary for morality. Morality and ethics don't bound to religion. Morality is function of social interactions and human communities.
In religious morality, something is moral if god commands it; immoral if god forbids it But it's not real morality because it denies the social and human nature of moral behavior.
POP says no to condom and abortion and guy/lesbian marriage. So will you obey bible and avoid condom or use your common sense and use it for protection? Which is morally correct?
Read here a logical and short article on religion and morality: http://goo.gl/Bazsa
P.S. I m not good in very English please pardon me for grammatical/ spelling mistakes and typos.

 

SN: @M I'm guessing you're confusing ethics and character with belief. Belief is personal and rarely needs any justification- I can believe that posting prayers on Facebook will make the Social God happy and bless me with eternal bliss. But you have to answer to societal laws if your violate them (your character and ethics govern how you behave). So we don't need God, we just need a Goddamn awesome policing system to fix our problems!
@N,Rightly said, it's a philosophical question - sadly people's personal lives, their societies and in several countries, their constitutions and laws have been based on something that ought to have been left in a classroom or in a prayer room. Nobody gets it that religion is a personal thing! (Or is that just one of the million interpretations of this highly inconsistent thing called religion!! Something that has so many interpretations and inconsistencies should be in a literature/philosophy class, not governing our lives!)

M: I was hoping you wouldn't make this debate really personal. Can you point out where I have actually mentioned that I believe what the religions preach? I don't believe Earth is flat because it's a proven fact it is round.
you (or the lot at oxford ) : An acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.
But I do think, had I lived in an era when everybody else believed Earth to be flat, I would have also found that very convincing. A mad man with a telescope wouldn't have been enough to make me believe otherwise.
I am not saying religions are the way to goodness. The history of the world shows is not the case.

What if one fine morning some scientists discover that Earth isn't a sphere? or something like that? That means what you've believed till date was very wrong. Something similar happened with 'Earth being flat' story. Initially it would be tough for people to accept the ideas. They've been living in a sphere world afterall. But with time people will learn from their mistakes and accept the new theory. The fact that Christianity tried to curb the real truth is sad. But i don't think that alone is the reason why people found it hard to believe. Moreover much before the church accepted the truth ( I still don't know if it has ) people started believing it.
Like i said, I am not a great supporter of religion. Its just that unlike you or the umpteen others supporting you, I find it more easier to believe in a God. It's just a personal thing. I am not forcing it upon you or anyone else. If you want to call me a deluded mind, then so be it.

@SN: I get your point. When somebody puts it right, I suppose you simply have to accept. :) I as a person might not be able to change my staunch beliefs though.

 

B: @M I agree with your point about atheists being 'believers' in their own right. But atheists pride themselves in saying they are not 'believing' something, as they choose to rely more on their logic and reason to explain what they see. Hence they say, they're not 'believers'.
Regarding people posting prayers on FB, yes i can see how it could be not appropriate to some. That could stem from the fact that to most people their faith is something they would not like to make public or discuss? Public(i choose to equate FB with public, and i think i'm not wrong) displays of faith are often frowned upon, since faith is a sensitive issue to discuss. But for a person for whom his God is an important part of his life, setting a status in his page on a social networking site about his god cannot really be questioned. After all, to him that's probably important and he can choose to tell his friends the same. Whether or not we choose to read another man's status and get irritated, or try to understand him and live with it is the question. Is it not?
About you saying that believing in God is the easier option, well it is your personal thing. Personally i feel that believing and confessing someone is your God, is really tough. Because that entails following everything that your God tells, and putting up a front for him when the world calls you a nut. Faith is tough, and those who choose that way would surely know that even though the going is tough they are in for something better. 

 

 N : @K , " Science proceeds one funeral at a time.." ; Planck

 

K: @N This is very wise quote by great scientist and Nobel laureate Max Planck . His Actual Statement was: "A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it."
And this very true, This generation will die and so does religious belief with each dying generation.

I never said that you said earth is flat. But I showed you a example of belief. The word belief has a simple meaning, Any l idea or set of idea can be a belief which is believed to be true by a single person or a group of person but doesn't have any proof. belief of god or supernatural power is one of those belief there nothing special in it except that a majority of people posses this belief, there is no proof of it. So again I am asking you how it make a person better?

 

 

 

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Mark My Words

// This is my 8^th attempt at writing this article. I’ve found it incredibly tough to convey what exactly happened in that night at Dharamsala. The language used throughout the post is raw and most of the times offensive. Either have an open heart to accept what reality is or quit reading.

It is not entirely surprising that an year after that cold and humid May evening at McLeod Ganj (Dharamsala), that I remember the brief yet inspiring conversation with Australian documentary film maker and theatre artist Mark (who never gave away his surname either assuming he was already famous or too scared that we’d google out and find the truth), as if it were yesterday.

My initial fascination for the bald guy had a lot to do with his girl friend. Here was a man, definitely in his late 60s walking into the room opposite to ours with a ravishing beauty. If I remember right, the two words I had used back then to describe our protagonist were ‘lucky’ and ‘bastard’. And then I had moved on.

It’s the loud and surprisingly sane conversation coming from our other room a.k.a the ‘high’ room (and trust me the height of the room had nothing to do with the christening) that led me to Mark again.

24/05/2011 : Hunted Hill Hotel, Dharamsala

*Knock knock*

Me : “Dharmasala pickle is not making you high Bavani?”

The door wasn’t locked , so I pushed open the door and found the entire gang crowded in the small balcony curiously engaged in a conversation with someone in the room nearby. 

Strangely, Jp was gazing at the sky quite resembling that scene in Venkat Prabhu’s ‘Goa’ where Sami stares at the moon.  And as soon as I reached the balcony, the guy went totally crazy. Apparently the staring had nothing to do with things he had consumed. He had managed to see a lady wearing just a bra.

It surprised me to find that our ‘lucky bastard’w as the reason behind all the fuss. He introduced himself as the Mark, the documentary maker, presently on a quest to make a short film about that year’s Ms. Tibet contest which had an Australian taking part in it. There was an incredible urge to ask why a documentary maker was staying at such a cheap hotel but the extravagant view of the ‘Triund’ and the ‘Bhagsu’ plus the realization that artists are crazy people, stopped me from blurting it out. But not wanting to stay dormant in the whole conversation I asked,

Me: “I was reading this book by Vanessa Walker. Mantras and…”

Mark: “..Misdemeanours. I know Vanessa personally. Good writer. Funny book isn’t it? Tells you the story of McLeod Ganj, though you as an Indian might have found it a little awkward at times. But in all honesty, that’s what the majority of the foreigners feel about your land. A beautiful land filled with wicked people. I left my country at the age of 18. It’s been travel ever since. My 8^th time to India this. Anyway where are you lot from?”

CT : “ We are from South India. From a beautiful place called Kerala.”

Mark : “ I know Kerala. I was there for 6 years. At Kalamandalam, learning about Kathakali and other various dance forms. Kerala theatre is very impressive as well. In the west, we don’t give importance to facial expressions to convey our emotions. So it was a great lesson for me. Women in Kerala are very beautiful. Magical eyes they have!
CT: “Oh well, we’d like to disagree. Delhi metro’s way cooler :P “

Mark : “How many days at Dharamsala? “

CT: “ Just one night. Reached today morning. Will leave tomorrow evening to Manali. “

Mark : “Change the plans. Stay here for one week. That’s the real problem with the world. All are tourists. They wanna go to a place, take a photograph and move on. Nobody wants to learn. To live. To be the part of a new and exciting culture. Nobody wants to TRAVEL. A tourist does not give a damn about the people. He sees the Taj Mahal. A traveler sees the lives intertwined with the Taj Mahal. The ones who makes money by selling the shoes, the chai walas and more.  And it’s not Slumdog speaking here.  I ought to know after these many years.”

Me : “But it’s our first time to North India. We want to experience snow. The real Himalayas. “

Mark : “Ok, I get your point. But it’s terribly sad. See you all 20 (? ) year olds claiming its your first time at north India. Blame the parents. In India children are nothing but slaves. Tools which the parents use to achieve everything that they couldn’t gain in their own respective lives. “

Silence.

Me: “ We saw Gilli and Ryan Harries today morning. All drunk and happy. “

Mark: “ Gilli’s a nice guy. Real great lad. But tell you what. Warne’s the opposite. A real dick! Has nothing but booze and girls in his mind. “

CT: “You know these cricketers? Wow. What about Bret Lee ? You know him too? “

Mark : “ I don’t know him personally. But I hear he’s an ok lad. “

And the conversation continued for a little longer until Mark said he needed a fag.

The next day morning we couldn’t find him in his room. Mr. Suresh Thapar , the caretaker, informed us that Mark had already left for his work. A remarkable evening, made all the more special by a remarkable conversation.

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A few last words

I suppose I only have the basic human trait of ‘never being satisfied with what they have’ to blame for my lack of emotions (or perhaps an overdose of it) on a day I’ve been waiting for ever since that murky day in August when they made me share a hall with another 500 like-minded souls to get us ‘oriented’ to this supposedly great institution. Four very LONG years I waited for this very day. But now that it’s actually here, I’m not so sure if I want it that badly because deep down, I know that these days are not going to come back in my life. The freedom at CUSAT and the herd of incredible young minds I got to work and live with. I refrain myself from using the word ‘friend’ because if the past 4 years has taught me something it’s the age old truth that it’s just you and your chubby pillow in this big fat world. Do not get me wrong, they are all great people!

Honestly, I’ve never really loved this college. Took up this place because my ‘Kerala ranks’ were pathetic, though like Mr. Madhavan in ‘Three Idiots’(and almost every other Indian), I had my interests in a field that lay on the paradoxical horizon to that of computer science and engineering. So there it was. A college, hardly 6km from where I live. So much for the ‘study in a metro’ dreams.
And there I met a lot of Biharis. I was put into a class where the majority couldn’t comprehend what I was speaking. And the little Malayalis that were present in every corner kept speaking in strange dialects that my virgin mind refused to translate. So much for the “Rang De Basanti” and “Dil Chahta Hei” dreams!  To make matters worse, the people I actually liked in the college kept saying, ‘can’t wait to get out of this shit-hell man’.

Life was in short – Pathetic. It was nice to have a 180 acre campus. But when the nearest bus stop was located at the diagonally opposite extreme, things aren’t that romantic. At places that didn’t have cow dung, there were a thousand crows waiting for that affirmation from the wing commander to bombard.

The truth is I’ll never love this institution. It exemplifies the phrase ‘education ruins you’.  Four years ago I walked into this place as a confident programmer ready to be the next ‘Neo’ and save the world. Today I sit here like a zombie, totally worried about the very obnoxious course viva that looms over my head. For heaven sake, I don’t even know MS Word!

Wait a minute. Was this place that bad?  I might not be a nerd hacking servers hidden in some mysterious port of Malibu but I’m definitely a changed man. For example, now I know what Not to write. I’ve successfully bluffed the role of a good quizzer. Jees, I even called up the lead singer of Motherjane and asked him to judge our rock music competition for free.  And yes, that very long sip of the ‘Absolut’(and it’s aftermath).

Here’s the thing. School prepares you for college. And a college moulds you into a human being capable of taking on the world (ideally). Therefore a college is much more than mere ‘academic enhancement’. It’s where a boy finally learns to become a man. A place where people from different backgrounds live and learn together. This very fact is precisely what differentiates college from school. You either study in a ‘rich’ school or a ‘poor’ school and hence most often you end up with people who are very similar to you. At a college, things don’t work that way. And these friends that you develop during your life at college won’t seem like special human beings.  In fact on umpteen numbers of times they will backstab you, put your life in a miserable spot and even steal your efforts for their glory. But trust me, it’s definitely a give and take thing. You’d do the very same. And perhaps it’s one of those truths that one needs to learn in life without somebody actually saying it to you. No one is perfect. No one can be relied upon. It’s all man for himself. And hence, when somebody asks you to name your best buddies these names might not come out in a reflex. They aren’t the people with whom you’ve shared your complete heart like the pal you probably had at school.

But come to think of it one probably spends the best moments in the life with these people. I certainly did. I was surrounded by my college friends when I first set my eyes upon the mighty Himalayas. That hot summer Saturday, when the Ghost Riders ‘haunted’ the college.

Maybe I got it completely wrong. From day 1 I was adamant about establishing a feeling that I came from somewhere entirely superior to the college. 4 years down the line and I feel sick and ashamed of my former self. And it’s only fair that on this last occasion I hold my hands up and admit I was wrong. You people, all of you who’ve made my life worthwhile in this college are destined for greater heights. And I’m not a person who says good things easily, so you might want to save that line.

Like I said, I’m confused. I still have only the college to blame for my present situation. When the semester 6 results came, I was shell shocked. I had managed to fail in almost all the subjects quite contrary to my expectations. Gave up on CAT and TISS. Completely screwed up my life. Back then I honestly wished I had someone to help me. I had begged to my class co-ordinator and other senior lecturers. But nobody gave a damn. The revaluation results came out the other day. I had passed in almost all the subjects (ah well you don’t count DSP as a subject ;) ). So I had given up on CAT and TISS for no real reason.

I’m neither happy nor sad. And most of the times this state is more confusing than both. This series of ‘realizations’ that is continuously barging into my small conscience! Whether I might like to accept it or not this place has been my home for the past 4 years. Strangely synonymous with Matthew 7:7 " knock and the door will be opened to you." That room number 115 has always been open for me whenever I've wanted a place to hide/enjoy.

Maybe I should have probably given it a chance. But I don’t know.  Maybe I have had my fair share of ill experiences to feel the way I did. I’d never know. One thing’s for sure though. I’ll miss this place. Especially some people in it. And it’s different from school. At school you know that your friend’s will be in touch with you. With college it’s different. Tomorrow is probably the last time we are going to see each other. 

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The secondary tale

Once upon a time there lived a man. Lean, strong, good looking and brilliant. He studied in the country’s premier institute and then chose to follow his heart and start a newspaper. And what happens to him? He gets to become the ‘loser’ in India’s most loved corn-head’s new novel strangely named after the newspaper our ‘loser’ guy had started. Apparently, getting drunk and messing up the objective exams is way cooler than doing everything properly.

Indian’s have traditionally loved drama. Even senseless, soap opera like effluent they’ve been bringing out under the generic name “bollywood masala” has been received positively for years. When a rock-star seeking inspiration went to Prague and stole somebody else’s wife everyone sang about love and everything else wonderful in the world. But did anyone worry about the man who must’ve been really good to own a business in such a hostile environment like Prague?  A poor life had turned miserable over night and nobody cares. Instead the world only cares about the heroes.

Infact these ‘secondary’ roles are so insignificant that even the likes of Salman Khan could don such an avatar and be subjected to no sympathy. So convenient isn’t it, to end it all by saying “Kuch Kuch Hota Hei”? 

In the big scheme of things, these lives are so inconsequential, so secondary that nobody really cares about what happens to these men/women after those moments that changed their lives. After having been ditched, under-valued, and mentally tortured? Nobody really knows right? I suppose they move on. Lead a non sensational life filled with counseling, depression and more.

Human beings like it when underdogs or heroes win. Even more when it’s the former. It’s the sadistic brain we all have which has the ability to instill in its owner the ‘thing’ that drives people mad – hope. Why else do you think people watch Dhanush movies? Here’s a slim, dark guy who looks to be suffering from malnutrition winning pretty girls. If he can do it, we can too.

My story is about such a person. Who did nothing wrong and still had his life turned upside down. The only mistake he probably did was to become the part of somebody else’s fairytale story.  Our protagonist would’ve easily fitted into an average girl’s ‘dream boy’ criteria. A handsome guy who also happened to be a brilliant orator. He loved this girl with all his heart.  Spent hours at the bus stop to get a glimpse of her while she went for her coaching classes. Skipped meals to be with her. All was well until one fine morning he got a call from her saying she had fallen for someone else. The word spread. And suddenly people were all talking about the guy who was short and not nearly as handsome as our ‘secondary’. But it seemed his love for her was convincing enough. His love was termed genuine and real. The girl was called the ‘Goddess’ for realizing true love. She had opted ‘true love’ and turned a blind eye to his looks. And our Mr. Secondary? Who cares right? His love probably wasn’t good enough. The guy ruined his exams, got into some xyz business school and screwed up his life. And yeah, the couples lived happily ever after. End of story. And there are similar stories everywhere.

That’s life on planet Earth. It's confusing, sensational and most of the times unfair. And since it is so inter-twined with somebody else’s, you are bound to wear the ‘secondary’ shoes some day. You, me and everyone else. Be ready!

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