Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Last saturday and now!

Failure is NOT neccessarily the inablity to act. It is when you CAN, and still you DON'T!
Last Saturday at church I happened to see this small girl, all alone, shabby and desperatley needing a bath. Quite possibly the kid of a nomad. She was looking at this rich lady with pearl necklace and no lack of 'talcum'with keen eyes. Strangely the eyes were not on the 'expensive' elements of the lady but on the 5 candles she had in her hand.
I had candles with me. And I so badly wanted to give it to her. But I didn't. Some might argue it was because she was poor and belonged to the lower strata of the society. I disagree. I would've done the very same had she been Wordsworth's Lucy.
Infact theres always this dilemma one has to go through. My badly wanting to give her and my NOT giving her! She was a kid afterall. Innocent and pure. SO why didn't I just walk to her, smile and hand over the candles. I for sure know that the ONE up there would've been more pleased that way .I can only come up with one answer. Society! And the sad aspects of being a member of it.
The truth is I would've given the candles had no one been there around us.I somehow couldn't get myself to do that with everyone around. The lady knew perfectly that she was being watched. She could've easily done what I so wanted to do. But she didn't.And the sad truth is she probably would've done it had she been 'a pretty, little, fair girl in her polka dotted robe. If I had gone over with the candles I would've definitely offended the lady and the crowd around her.Who the hell was I to go over to this poor girl and give her what she so badly wanted, amidst all the grown ups.
Come to think of it, this has happened before. Many times have I sworn to myself that i will help the poor somehow. Yes i have occassioanly helped out the tramp with some money but to be frank thats merely 'good riddance' than genuine care. Last day, at the photostat shop this lady amidst all her hectic work did the spiral binding for my sake. Before I could go thank her, she had left for another work. and i thought " well its her job anyway" and walked off.
And then slowly it all started making sense. Hate the society. Loathe. Despise! But understand one thing. WE make it! Going back to the situation, the lady with the pearls could've possibly went through the same dilemma as i did. Not just the lady, perhaps the whole crowd. One brave step could've changed the day for the kid. One smile. One pat. Small things do matter. And sometimes more than the huge things.
Thats where you have to salute extra-ordinary people like Mother Teresa , Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther king. They might not have made an LHC! But they did ordinary things that revolutionized human lives! Mother saw God in the streets of Calcutta ! Gandhiji believed in ahimsa. Martin Luther King had a dream! And most importantly they all DID something about it. When Tolstoy said that the blood of swine is always there in man, he never implied that it should come out. A bunch of young boys and girls got together with a good intention once and today they are Making A difference to the lives of many a children. I really don't wanna write a conclusion. Let it remain the way it is. One year from now I [ and hopefully everyone who reads this] WILL read this again and think to myself[himself/herself] " ok! atleast i did make an effort!" ..

17 comments:

Achu said...

very thought provoking!!!! have never thought from this angle before that people don't help the poor because they have to maintain their status in the society....but somehow i can't seem to agree with you....can't really understand what stopped you from making that girl happy!!! anyway taking an effort to pen down your thoughts so that everyone(including u) thinks about it is appreciable...and really hope that a change happens one year from now......

Nevin[Nguy] said...

Asw, i would probably have done that had there been more time. sadly it all gets over quickly . the girl child walked away and thats the end of the story. it happens everytime. i only wish the feeling comes instantaneously . it doesnt for me!

lakshmy said...

i seriously wish u had given her those candles...
the smile on her face would have made bth of ur day.. am happy that u shared wth all of us cos this thought of urs would have made lot many people to think (including me).....
but i still feel that it wouldnt be the status factor that would have stoppd anyone frm doing this..if u had given it to her ,others around u would have been inspired...

Nevin[Nguy] said...

i can understand all of u! but what i am saying is, i am just another human and i cudn't get myself to do thr ryt thing. something inside me. its weird , i know. yet u often do it.

mahe said...

That was one really matured thought man.

Manisha said...

i shud thank u for givin me ds piece nev. It has made me sit back and think actually coz its nt u alone who has faced such kinda situation. evn i hv done d same a couple of times. But den i luv d fact dat u shared ur thoughts wid such honesty. well i am sharing this note on fb.. this becomes my fav among all of ur other articles..:-)

Nevin[Nguy] said...

@mahesh : dude! mature and me? idheppo sambavichu ? :D

@mani :I'm sure we've all done it at some point or the other. If we only we'd develop an instinct which wud prevent us from not doing it! And this doesnt mean u stop reading the travel articles! :D

Nevin[Nguy] said...

@asw and lakshmy :
i think u've got me wrong. I am not saying its the social status thing! likei said , i wud have done the same had it been any other girl. somehow i cudn't get myself to do the thing i wanted at the ryt moment! and thts cos i was worried about how the society or the ppl around me wud take it! and the reason why i was worried perhaps is a socitey thing or the status thing! but it wasnt the reason why I dint act.
i knows its strange to comprehend :)

Shaakir said...

great piece of writing nevu..anyway what i feel is that ,just helping her with a candle isn't goin make her life happier or simpler..it sure does make a difference to her and to the society as well...its like you help them, they get happy for a moment in their life.Teach them to live life..they're happy for their lifetime...
mostly its because of their parents,they get caught up in their lives..i've heard real stories from these kids, all they talk abt is family.
We actually need to go through this matter..thanks for pointing it out.you mind if i share it on the MAD group?

Nevin[Nguy] said...

@shaakir : well thats what i was hoping for. it myt not change her life but it wud have certainly made her day. TO change their life in a day is virtually impossible. but there is no harm in trying.

Nevin[Nguy] said...

@shaakir, go ahead man. share it :)

Ullas G Kalappura said...

Thought provoking... The greatness lies not in doing extraordinary things, but to do ordinary small things in a different manner. We have to get rid of our selfishness and ego at first for it. And do not fear society..

Nevin[Nguy] said...

well said ullas chetta! but sadly none of us are willing to make tht very small step which cud ultimately lead to a better life for so many!

AJai said...

Came here on the recco of a friend...
nice post... but i still don't understand why you didn't give the candle to the kid?

I think it's important to do good w/o expecting others to applaud you. don't think too much when you need to do good... and frankly forget what others around are doing/thinking. that simple! :-)

Nevin[Nguy] said...

@ajai : whoever tht friend is, give him/her a thanks will u. sorry for getting back so late.
the thing is it all got over before i cud do something about it. another 5 more minutes and i wud've done it. she lookd at the lady, stayed there for some 3 minutes and then went off. wht i dont have is tht impulse tht tells u its the ryt thing to do and tht i dont have to worry about the others. sadly the realization takes time to sink in. and thts wht bothers me

bo said...

Do you mind if i share this article in FB.
B/w this is indeed very touching and brutally honest stuff.

Nevin[Nguy] said...

go ahead. who would mind some free publicity :D


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