Sunday, December 15, 2013

TISS Against 377

After the outrageous ruling by the supreme court, which criminalised "unnatural sex" (article 377) overturning Delhi high court's ruling in 2009, TISS has been consistently fighting for the rights. The re criminalising of "unnaturalness" (as they claim) is a gross violation of basic human rights, not just for the LGBTQ but for every human in the country.
Some photos of our first gathering near the dining hall in TISS campus







Monday, November 4, 2013

That Halloween Night

Sarppakavu. Photograph via http://www.trekearth.com
I do not keep track of the dates. Everyday is another twenty four hours to me. Be it Sunday or Friday. Which probably explain why I was outside on a Halloween night trying out some photography. I do not believe in Halloween. It has always been something Americans did on certain nights, though India like every other thing, have started copying the western fascination for pumpkin headed ghosts. But the question is, do I believe in ghosts? The super natural. Its a fascinating question, perhaps what pushed me to blogging in the first place was a need to put forward some theories I had about afterlife and multiverse.
Almost all my life, I've spent in the corner of the Ernakulam corporation (Kochi as it is popularly known), once a small town famous for its churches and temples, now for having Kerala's biggest malls all stacked in a kilometre radius. Edappally, the face of the 'metro', also has a history deeply interwoven with rich folk culture and religion.
Edappally Raghavan Pillai and Changampuzha Krishna Pillai, 
often compared to Keats and Shelly for their astounding works in Malayalam literature, come from this little suburb of Cochin. While their life stories, especially their coming together, are known to many in the state of Kerala their personal lives still remain a mystery. Very few know about the death of of Raghavan Pillai's mother. Or his own tragic death, committing suicide at the age of 27 after a love affair with an upper class girl forced him to flee the town. Inside the town, rumour always was that the poet's family had destroyed a 'sarpakavu' (an abode for snakes, especially the sacred cobra) and the curse of the Naga Raja has been with them ever since. Raghavan Pillai's life is filled with tragedies. Changampuzha himself died at a young age of 36 falling prey to Tuberculosis. And there are other stories too about the town. Some not so popular like the tale of the Mozhangumthara family who had no children. It is believed that around 60 dogs lived in that compound, all ferocious, trained to eat children. I still remember having had to jump into their compound to fetch a cricket ball once. Some five dogs had sniffed their way to us right after we climbed the wall. They were not exactly beasts but they still barked like mad. Stories of spirits, yakshis, bison legged men who roam about the streets at midnight.. the stories of the town are endless. 
Why am I saying all this though? Who believes in all these stories in the 21st century? As I was saying in the beginning of the post, I was outside trying to figure out some functions in my camera. But later that night when I was analysing the photos I found out some disturbing patterns. I had put camera on sequence mode and taken some photographs. But the shadow patterns on the tiles were very disturbing. It was different for each photo. 






I am still seeking explanations for the changing shadow patterns. And these are continuous shots. So moon or other sources of light changing positions is out of the question. What caused this sudden change in shadows?
I woke up the next day to see this.




Neighbours car had broken the wall and entered our compound. Strangely at the same place I found the shadows on the previous night.
What do i believe?

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Dear Daughter

Live your life to the fullest my dear,
Go out there and challenge the norms.
Make love, make merry and see the world.
Loiter when the moon is out
And fight them if they ask you why.
They will push you, scare you,
And always discourage you.
But what more can they do?
That they curse you to hell?
But don't you see my little child,
That we already live in one.



Monday, September 2, 2013

A requiem

Life as such is hard at TISS. Day and night they make me work. Periodically filling me with more and more 'duties'. Many times I protested. Squealed, squeaked, coughed out smoke. All to no use.
Last month they 'found' me a partner. Yes, those Kurta wearing social scientists around me who preach about 'choice' and 'love marriage'! But I wasn't complaining. It always feels good to have someone to share things with. Especially work. And my life did become easier for a while. Everyone called us the 'perfect couple'. Spending our days and nights in two separate rooms, serving people - their idea of a honeymoon I suppose. I moved on. What other option did I have anyway? And then it all 'fell apart'. I can't blame him though. Succumbed to the pressure and guilt. Stopped working...
Today I work alone. The night is about to die and I would like to sleep. But people around me are still sending me requests that I cannot say no to. Afterall, that is the purpose of my life - to serve.

These days I dream a lot...
I stand, in the middle of the forest, watching trees fall as I carry on with my work. Animals and birds moving around in panic, while the clouds make way for scorching sunlight. Work, trees, cries, work, trees, cries, work, trees, cries.... silence...
What can I do? I was made to serve. Education has not taught these people. Or has it made them worse? I feel like a hangman at times. Just doing a job. If the world does not care, why should I? In technology I had belief. 'Had'.
I see the boy taking away a lump of 'work' I had just finished for him. I hear cries...
*sigh*

                                                                                            Yours sincerely,
                                                                                            9040 library printer.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Analysing Space : Ground floor on TISS Library



Sir Dorabji Tata Memorial library is perhaps the most ‘happening’ space inside the ‘Old Campus’ during the day time. In the ground floor one can witness loud discussions, people with headphones waving at laptops, ‘under the desk’ romance and amidst all that, people genuinely reading. This is perhaps what intrigued and finally convinced me to analyse the same space after midnight.
The reading room can be broadly divided into three sections. The 'couch space' in the eastern corner with glass tables to rest laptops or keep books on. The centre of room has six tables, each with six red chairs around it. And on the western corner are three tables, again with six chairs around it. But the difference is that the chairs are green in colour and the plug points on the table works. It is interesting to note the colour signifiers - the table with red seats does not have electricity supply while the table with green seats have. There are individual reading lights for every table but the hall is well lit that students hardly use it.

Quite contrary to the day time, there are no fights for the ‘green seats’ next to the plug points or corner couches. The book lending section is closed by 8 and it is roped off, so the ground floor is limited to the reading room and the lab for the visually challenged. Most of the chairs were empty but lay at different locations, sometimes quite far away from the desk, constant reminders of the day that had passed.

When I walked in, at the stroke of midnight, there were around twenty five people in the entire room. Two girls sitting on the couch, with their legs on the table, were deep in conversation. It is interesting how the table turns into a space to rest the legs once the crowd has reduced. Very few spaces inside the TISS campus are under surveillance and the library reading room is one such place. The sofa is one place that the camera does not cover and hence one tends to see more intimate conversations there. I do not think its deliberate. It could also well be that the sofa is much better a place for a comfortable talk. Throughout the talk they kept shifting their gaze from their respective laptops, which was placed on their stomachs, to the entrance of the library as if they were expecting someone.
 A student sat on the couch facing the ‘The Speaking Tree’ painting was shuffling vigorously the pages of a book that he had made photocopies of. Another student, who wore a T-shirt which had ‘School of Health System Studies’ written on it and was facing right towards me, had switched on the lamp on the table lamp and was scribbling notes from what seemed like a video of a seminar. During the day the people who are more interested in their work tends to be concentrated around the green table. After midnight they are more scattered as there are more vacant seats and lesser noise.
There were two groups having conversations around the 'red tables'. I could not over hear what they were talking about but from their actions it seemed as if one member in the group was explaining to others about something. I have always been curious as to why groups chose to meet at library ground floor which is a 'reading space', for their discussions. One of the biggest reason should be the lack of such a space inside the college. Apart from the 'quadrangle' and the new campus dining hall, there are no places with uninterrupted internet supply which is open throughout the day. Especially in the evenings, people often choose the library space, because of mosquitoes.
The security guard was asleep on a green chair that had been dragged to a spot next to a pillar where he could rest his head. The reading space is only accessed by the students of TISS. Except for the staff who cleans the tables every day morning, hardly anyone else enters the space. Even the security guards, even if they are upset with something happening inside the space, stands outside and tells. Understandably, they do not like it when the students make noise or switch on the lights next to the space were they sit.
At around one in the night, the majority in the library walks out to the 'SMS' canteen to get a snack before the canteen closes. The return back at different times, some don't, but generally, I noticed that everyone are back with an hour. After they return, some people move to the cyber library on the first floor. By then the staff in the cyber lab, who wouldn't otherwise allow laptops inside, would've have left. The lab is often more quieter and the air conditioned, so many prefer the place for getting the work done.
One thing that can be noticed about everyone in the ground floor (excluding the security guards) is the way they have all chosen to wear comfortable dresses. Most of them are dressed like how one would be inside in one's own house and that reflected how comfortable people were in that space. One of the student I talked to even had his tooth brush and paste with him. With filtered water also available, for many the ground floor was equivalent to their home.

The night was pretty dull and there were hardly anything that made you look at someone or something. The people inside kept moving in and out, mostly for a small walk or to attend phone calls. Students from the cyber library kept going out but nobody wanted to use the space in the ground floor. By around three, only one person had left. Surprisingly everyone had maintained their levels of intensity in whatever they were doing.  

The only incident worth mentioning, was my brief conversation with the security guard sitting outside the library. He had woken up by the sound I made while entering the library after a brief stroll and could not come to terms with the fact that I was a student. ID card and persuasion convinced him to finally allow me to enter.

The whole night was a huge contrast to the day time where there is life bustling in every corner. It is very difficult to come to a conclusion as to what type of people who generally visits people. One can safely assume it gets more crowded on during the exams. Most of the remaining group left by 4:00 a.m and the one person who was remaining lived in a house outside the campus.
My observation and analysis of the space is in no way complete or comprehensive. It is not exactly the same group that visits the library every day. What one can safely assume about the ground floor in the library is the fact that it is much beyond a reading space. It is where people like to meet up and discuss things. Silence is next to absent in the hall and there are hardly any boards/signs asking the students to keep quiet. The saddest part is how the library is no longer very reader friendly.


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