ME being me. And a very happy ME @ that!

" NEV! I can't get you. I mean its Ok if you love travelling. We all do. But seriously, is that all you do? I want something different from you now."

A very sincere advice from a loving friend[who apparently, also cares a lot about what I write]. I guess I owe you all an explanation cause I've been spamming you with my travel episodes for a long while now.

I am just like anyone else. I can be very rude[or as some my very dear pals put it 'too frank'], I almost always find women with long legs and a pretty face attractive, I feel depressed when the gang refuses to accept my ideas,I am terribly lazy, I imagine myself playing a Slash solo every night, and I often ponder over ways to use the money that comes with the 'man booker and I love my life.

I owe my change in attitude to two very big things that has happened in my life. The drama behind the revival of Indradanush [which taught me what it takes to be a 'social' human being] and the Loyola affair[regardless of how people might interpret, I learned to love and respect my parents even more after that].

Till then, the world was all but a movie, and I was the Truman. And I believed everything that happened on Earth were direct consequences of my actions.[ya even the Tsunami :( ]

So, I was a little weird [ OK! VERY weird] for an average 15 year old. And I still regret having spoiled the infinite opportunities to start a conversation with 'The Kalyani' [ Oh yes, I did ask her for an eraser once. 'Rubber' to be precise].

Things have changed for the better [Well I still am very poor at the 'breaking ice' thing. Especially when it comes to pretty girls]. And its largely due to a bunch of very enthusiastic mates, mummy, and the places I've been travelling.

To some,travelling is just displacement from (x1,y1,z1) to (x2,y2,z2).For others, it means a whole lot more. To discover new places, to sink into the culture, to dig into the food,to experience the colour, to meet new people, and to witness the hardships some face[ I still remember the lady in Vaippin telling me how scarcity of water had affected their lives] is some times much more meaningful than the soul stirring views the envelopes the place. I guess the 'nomadic' gene of our ancestors is still in our blood. In some cases[like me] its very active and dominant. In some others it tends to be on the dormant side.

And then there is always the fun element. Skipping meals for petrol,stuffing inside an old maruti 800,hoping the ATM gives an extra note by mistake, football[or fightball] in the beach, those pretty girl groups tht goes by every now and then giving us 'hope', the kappa meen curry which we so can't afford[the 3rd plate tht is :P] etc. Mastercard is right. There are somethings money cant buy[oh well. You could probably get a 3rd plate of kappa]].

To sit on top of a lighthouse staring at the blue horizon and to share a single bed with two others.These are irreplaceable and it takes an enthusiast to understand my emotions. Life is not about luxury. Why is it that the pretty girl in the BMW never smiles but your gf is all smiles when she sees ur bike? Life is about sharing,its about love,its about experience. And I know no better way than to travel.

This is me guys. A very happy me. I do not write for a living[now that would be good idea!hmmm..]. The blog or the FB note implies just one thing. I love to share. If these articles have been of any use or inspiration to you, my objective is achieved.

Do I really enjoy writing the way I do? Not really!

This is how my note goes[from the 2010 diary]:

Kovalam :

awesome.super legs. gosh there must be 3 or 4 beaches here. ask life gaurd. ouch that din't go well. i wonder if he'd save anyone, bloody arse. wow, she reminds me of cara black. is she??

white sand blue water. i wish x,y,z were with me :( m u guys.

lighthouse is tough on the lungs [panting] what an awesome view. mm interesting, lemme stick my legs out and see wht gravity feels like.

I couldn't possibly publish it the way it is, so I edit. And thats about it :)

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life moves on 17/07/2010

Now that I've started new blogs for everything tht isn't personal, its high tym i decrease the amount of followers :P.
Life has been on a high with trips and movies in plenty.And so it seems, the calorie. Footballs have been lost,a pal has been bitching with one horribly wicked girl and the bloody adidas shop has come up with an offer just after I bought a T [that isn't dark blue or black Grr].
What has brought me back to my blogliness is Chris Nolan and his latest film 'The Inception'.I am no movie critic and I have just two words for anyone seeking a review - Bloody Awesome!
I've had this very crazy idea since time immemorial, that we are living in a dream and death was just a 'waking up'. I tried telling this to many elders but they would get scared [ the kid sounds as if he's planning to kill himself!] and dismiss it as a silly thought.
But dreams continued to intrigue me and I came up with the absurd theory and the concept of dimensions.People found me wierdER and I still kept dreaming until boxing day nyt 2008,which did remove a lot of apprehensions I had been shouldering. It seems men can talk science ,beliefs, and politics[contrary to the common assumption tht its always sex,football and gadgets] at 12 in the nyt with beer bottles in front of them. We talked bout the origin, respective beliefs, God, Marxism and much more. A fruitful and eventful night.But sadly all was forgotten next day morning and it remained so until we met again at my place ,someday in 2009.
It's gr8 to see movie makers come with such fantastical ideas. Matrix, Contact, Inception were all inspirational beyond words.It feels great to know that there are like minded souls out there in the blue planet[and creating good movies and books too].

Notepad:

*Its strike at Cusat, and I am happy they've included cutting of tress as a major issue. Three cheers.

*I don't really understand what difference Kerala'M' is gonna make.

*Is unhappy with Chelsea's bid on Torres. Myt as well buy 2 good players with the 50 million pounds.

*Can't decide between Punto, Polo,Ritz,Swift and i20. my heart lies with punto.

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insignificance of another life

This article is in no way aimed at a certain religion or caste. Religion as we all know is vast topic and its impact on our lives even bigger. This is just a small attempt at trying to capture some of the elements in our society influenced by it. And I am in no way declaring that what i say is right and should be accepted.

Once there lived a girl. Incredibly pretty, enviably smart and born to the richest family in the region. Got married at the age of 18 in the biggest wedding the land had ever seen. Two years later she came back home. The guy had married someone else. The parents split up. Weakened by the pressure from society and unable to handle more than what a 20 year old is designed to, she ends her life with a five metre cloth.And with her went a life that never opened his eyes to see his wonderful mom and the World that killed her. Mother had to be taken to a mental hospital. Her brother today drives the car of a wealthy entrepreneur. Relatives? None that mattered.

The insignificance of another life.

"I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world."

Ever wondered why Red's quote stays in our mind all the time? As much as we would like to believe that life would turn out to be what our " Dil chahta hei " the bitter truth is, it seldom happens. And that is life. If it didn't have bumps in it, we wouldn't have found the difference between the good and the bad.

We live in a democratic nation. A country which stands for unity in diversity. One where strict laws dictate the common man. A land where the Netas skip meals to draft a bill for the goodness of its citizen. Where swamis with private jets protest against black money. But also a place, where politics and government plays second fiddle to religion and cultural beliefs. Where a man is never free to exercise the rights the constitution gives him.

Last day I met an old friend on the road and casually inquired about how things where going with his girl friend . " Things did not work out. She being a christian. That too from a lower caste. You know how it is with my people! "

Yes I know what it is with 'your' people! What I fail to understand is 'what was with you two'? Some strong relationship that might have been, if all they needed to break up, was the mere reference of 'religion' and 'caste'! Its life in India isn't it? We live for somebody else. A 'somebody else' that ultimately wont be there when you need them the most. And what do we give up for the ' somebody else' ? Everything that we need in our life.

Funny thing this religion is! A slight mistake by the nurse in the labour room could've resulted in you or I being swapped for another baby and being brought up as a Buddhist. The truth is, we follow what our parents do. I was born into a religion and so I will always be , unless I'm an A.R Rahman or a Kamala Das . And its fine. We are after all what our parents are. But to scornfully look down on a person simply because his/her great grandfather's dad was a fisherman does seem ridiculous, if nothing else, in this modern era. Yet it happens. And sadly it will keep happening.

"Men created religions. Regions created Gods. And they shared the land and the mind until the world became a mad place to live in. And the real God up there weeps on seeing the condition of the earth while the Satan laughs." So goes a rough translation of KJ Yesudas's song from the movie 'Achanum Baapayum'. Religion is something men created. Maybe with noble intentions in the beginning .But the fact that it is this very religion that allows a guy to marry a girl while still legally married to another, in a country with strict laws against such acts, shows how powerful and dominant religion has become in our society. And its not the first time such an incident has taken place. We've all mastered the act of putting out a blind eye to such inhumane situations, not because we aren't bothered about it, but we are all helpless about it.

An year ago the Rajya sabha passed a Women's reservation bill which was greatly appreciated by all the political parties, the intelligentsia etc. as a sign of true change. I will vote to power a lady CM,PM and president but can you in turn ensure me that the life of the widow who runs the college canteen will benefit from that? In a land where politics has always portrayed itself as a subset of 'religion' there is little wonder cases like the one mentioned in the beginning goes unnoticed.

If one really wants to untangle the problems pinned to a commoner's life be ready to dig deep , into the cultural and social prejudices that surrounds them, which is often obfuscated by the immense focus on the 'economic' development. Whatever may be the governing party,in certain parts of India if a widow is seen wearing coloured clothes and talking to another man its a sin. A man marrying from another tribe is a felony. When Slumdog Millionaire hit the screens I happened to read many of the country's elite criticizing the director for portraying a 'false' India. I would certainly like to believe that is the case. But a month ago i spent 30 minutes crawling through New Delhi as my train looked for a place to park itself in the Nizamudin railway station. What I saw beneath the metro rail was life like I had never seen before. A life that wouldn't care about inflation and GNPs. Prove to me that there exists no life beyond the rule book of the nation and I'll take back everything I've said so far.

The truth is, there are a million women out there who work their socks off all day, looks after the whole family, and then get beaten up a husband simply because of the existing social norms. To them that is life and no law can better their lives until there is an attempt by the society to welcome change. Its one thing to find these incidents in poor villages and an entirely different scenario if find it in an educated, urbanized society. Yet it happens. I used to know these 3 girls from my Hindi tuition classes. While two of them are now struggling with their Btech degrees, one is a mother. If seven years ago they were the same, why should they be any different now? Just because one was born to a different religion?

To expect a sudden change in practices that has been prevalent since the medieval times would be foolish. What we can do though, is try to build a world where life is valued more than any religion it is a part of, with hope that someday the world will realize what its been doing all this while. Blame me,frown at me, eat me alive but I will not believe that the God up there wanted the 'Spanish inquisition' or the riots at Gujarat to happen. Yes I believe in God. And I believe he gave me this life to be happy. Not tear down buildings and take innocent lives. Let Goodness show us the way forward.

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the desperate diaries 1: that thing called love

One, the best athlete in schoo,and the chocolate boy.The other, an audacious speaker,class topper and 'elf'ishly gorgeous.Together even the grumpy teachers loved them!NOT that any among us did!But we really dint stand a chance.[And just like every other narrator. in the customary 'desperate' stories, i had a crush on 'her']
So what could've led to the break up of this seemingly 'spotless' pair.Their different passions? It doesn't really sound a convincing reason,especially to someone who has seen them together!They were the prom king queen stuff as you have in those English horror[they tend to call it thrillers, but i've never been thrilled to c masked men stab cute couples on certain fridays] movies with disappointing sequels.
She took up 'law' at Delhi and he joined an Engineering college in Madras. But according to the classical definition, love blossomed with distance right? so then ,what else? Lack of commitment ?I really cant answer that with a yes or no, but i've seen them scraping probable names for their children on the beach and fighting over it, so i kinda concluded they were serious. And I'm pretty sure everyone in my class thought the same.
And at last via a mutual friend, I came to know the reason!They were BORED. A very flimsy reason to let a pretty girl go, it would seem!But I wasn't all that surprised! after all he used to spend his entire life revolving around Ms Sunshine, doing what she wants! Its only human to desire a change, and sometimes the parattas can yield more taste than the 'real Arabia'[mind u, that doesnt happen all the time]. He would even skip the football matches to go talk to her. I have no clue as to how he cud tolerate the left and right 'cancellations' associated with a pretty girl![for those who arent familiar with the golden rule, a pretty girl is discrete maths! She always has some nagging,very 'UNpretty','friends'{or fans} beside her!unless you learn to do the left and right cancelling , it is impossible to get a pretty girl]
The bitter truth is, when u develop an infatuation for someone u always find a reason to believe this is exactly the person for u. It doesn need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the nyt sky, for example. Now in the long run,that's just the kind of dumb,irritating habit that would cause u to split up. But in the haze of infatuation,its just what u've been searching for all these years.
Each realized what they were missing out on,discovered something new,and they broke up! end of story.
Initially i was very angry!I cursed the society for what it had become and wondered 'what true love meant'?maybe its like 'Halo'.some lucky guy gets to sleep-act with Beyonce! And so i pondered!
Why do people,old ,immature or young,break up?and then Mr Tiger Woods came rushing in!ehemmm.and then John Terry![clear throat. atleast Toni can tend to forgive]. Regardless of how naive the word BORED might seem, it has roots in almost every 'emotional mishap'.
Most of the time, we call it 'losing trust'! but that is losing faith in your partner,which is a direct implication that you arent fully into the relationship!and why arent u? maybe u need a change?maybe u've had 'enough' with the current state of affairs!
Anyway i leave it for u to decide! and while you are at it,you could probably find a cute name to match our male and female protagonists as well!I wanted Jack and Jill, but my girlfriend likes aditya and aisha more! AS always ,she previals!

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ode to the death of a "Just another person"

What can you say bout a lady tht just died?That she wasnt all that gorgoeus,almost always shied away from a conversation, and would've been my teacher?

Dhanya,passed away at the age of 27,still a sapling to the Earth,desires unheard, and battling it to the end. She wasnt really anyone to me. I've never seen her. She was just another character out of my mom's work stories. Her dad and my mom used to work at the same SBT branch.

Remarkably it so happened that after all these years, I happened to pick the same branch of engineering at the very same college. So then why would I spent my time on a seemingly meaningless note? The very answer lies in the truth that I dont want to be writing this. I would've loved it if she would have been in her home studying as she always did for her Mtech classes.

An year ago she had been taken to the lakeshore hospital, as a cancer patient. It started as a mole on her body. Just another skin disease we all seem to get. Or so everyone thought.
The doctor got suspicious and sent her for check-up and soon it was confirmed.

There were stages in the treatment when she had it real tough.

After her graduation from CU she had tried the 'gate' exams and then started working at the college as a guest lecturer.In 2008 she had joined the Mtech dept in the same college.

Life went on, until a month ago when mom called me up to tell that Kunjukunju uncle's daughter had been discharged and she had shown a remarkable resistance to the cancer. She had been declared 100% free of cancer. A miracle.

Joy.Merry.And then the collapse at the Dept of Electronics. She was rushed to hospital but the doctors soon informed that her cancer had spread to different organs and there was no chance to save her. she had to wait for what was the eventuality.

She dint allow any visitors in the last few days. She dint want their sympathy. It was said she suffered pain,especially in the nights but wouldn't allow her dad to shift her to hospital. She lost her voice and had to write down her final few words.

And she died. With little fuss and all the love. Things had gotten worse and she had been taken to the hospital.

I have nothing to more to add to this note.it so happens that many a million die every second. I know not what will happen to me tomorrow. But I do know why my eyes are moist and it aint just the lack of sleep.

I wonder if the doctors were right in giving her false hopes? Did she have the best two days in her life? Or did the person, who had showed incredible willpower to endure the pain, finally give in ,after she realized that the doctors had been lying? I don't know. Not that I ever will! But one thing is for sure! She wanted to live..

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